Down the Aisle 8: Abba crab paté

    Found in a furniture store. Refrigerated. In a tube, a tad bigger than a Colgate container. Cuz I haven’t seen any edible paste in a tube at Safeway or Walmart, I say The Swedes rule in design, again. But does the paste sing, too?

    The band ABBA had four member, but the paté has at least four times as many ingredients, as the label says, and I quote: “canola oil, crab meat, cod roe, saithe roe, salt, sugar, tomato purée, dill, aromas (this isn’t exactly an ingredient, but whatev), vinegar, potato flakes, sodium benzoate, potassium sorbate, spices, yeast extract”. I’ll cut the chase and tell you now that the only thing I could taste…

    … was the salt.
    In hindsight saltine crackers probably contributed in blinding my tongue, but I don’t regret. It’s pleasantly salty, like French fries and chips. It’s the other background stuff that make the scene. The smoothness melts the instant the tongue reaches it, a fishy moment whips through the air, and you sink to the bottom of the ocean watching two crabs clapping claws. If you eat this for the first time, don’t expect anything, the more blank you let yourself be, the less chance you get hit in the face by the taste. But once that first cracker goes down, your hand will pull out another and untwist the cap of the tube faster than you can say paté.

    Can anyone not love IKEA? 🙂
    And I still can’t get over the tube shape. It inspires arts. Though judging from the two crooked letters I make on the crackers, the route to pâtisserie suddenly seems bleak.

    DISCLAIMER: I received no free product or monetary gift in exchange for this review.

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